Yesterday I was sitting on the playground watching my kids play in the little town of Housatonic. It's an artsy little spot, but not the highfalutin kind of artsy. It's the down-to-earth, kind of rough around the edges artsy which I like. There is this one building that you can see from the playground that looks like it used to be a storefront, but is now someone's home. It's been painted red with huge, bright yellow sunflowers painted all along the side. The trim is a mix of bright green and yellow, and the curtains that hang in the floor-to-ceiling-store-display type of windows are fuscia. The shed in the back is painted in a brilliant turquois with pink and yellow trim (I think...the trim details I can't quite remember), with big pink flowers painted like they're growing up the side. I'm guessing it's a woman who lives here, not because of the flowers painted on every inch, but because I saw a woman run up the steps and in the front door like she owned it. (I'm a detective in my spare time you know.) This house makes me smile. Not just because it's fun to look at, but because it's brave, and it's what I want when I grow up.
I've always had this vision of myself of when I'm old. Who knows what the heck my actual future will be (probably me in diapers in a nursing home), but the vision that I have of me is, alone, in a small, simple house by the sea. In this small house I read, I take walks on the beach, I listen to music, I entertain friends, and I make art. I used to think of this house as being on a quiet road, but lately I picture it in a town like Provincetown on Cape Cod. Provincetown is artistic and full of life and characters of all kinds. It's nutty in the summer and desolate in the winter. But if it's too lonely in the winter I could always escape to one of my children's houses, wherever they may be. Oh, that reminds me, the house will have a small guest room... just one cozy guest room. No big family reunions here. Just a child or two at a time. Maybe one grandchild at a time for a special week with me; Nana, Nonnie, Grammy, Grandma, or whatever I'm called. My time for hosting big reunions will be over at this point. I'll have already done all that in years prior, in this house that I live in now.
My current house will be perfect for that. For having ALL the children and grandchildren at once. Some sleeping in the house, some camping in the yard. Staying up late by the fire singing and playing instruments (since Don & I will have paid dearly for instrumental lessons of all kinds at that point I'm sure, so SOMEONE better know how to play SOMETHING!)
That will be a grand time, but the house by the sea is for a later time. For the twilight of my life. A time just for me, to reflect and to just be. To savor the stillness and quiet at times. To observe the bustle and frivolity of summer tourists at other times. I hope that I will be able to look back at this time and know that I did my best. That I worked hard, and lived hard, and loved hard. I hope that I will be able to say that I did all that I wanted to do in this life, and that I did at least one thing to make this world a little better, a little more beautiful than it was before I came along.
There is a wonderful book that I love to read to the kids called Miss Rumphius, by Barbara Cooney. It was actually one of my sister's books when they were young, and I loved it so much I got it for my kids. It's about an old woman who lives by the sea. (Sound familiar?) It's the story of her life and her adventures, but the one thing that she had promised her father (or was it her aunt? I think she was the aunt to another girl. Hmm. I haven't read it in a while. Doesn't matter. Continue on.) when she was a little girl was that she would do one thing to make the world a more beautiful place. She gets towards the end of her life and realizes she has done pretty much everything that she set out to do in life, but she hasn't done that yet. As she lies ailing in bed she sees some lupine growing outside her window and gets her idea. When she gets well enough, she goes out and sows lupine seed everywhere she goes. Soon the lupine is growing everywhere and is beautiful of course. Don't you love it?! I want to do that too, but I need to think of my own idea. Let's see... apple trees? Done. Maybe goldenrod? 'Spreading allergies to people everywhere!' Oh that reminds me of my bee allergy story. I'll have to write about that one sometime! Kinda funny in an E.R. visit/playing with death kind of way!
Anyway, let's get to the thought/fact of the day.
What will YOU do to leave the world a better place?
Doesn't have to big, or Nobel Peace prize winning (but that would be way cool! I could say "Hey, I know that guy/girl" assuming I do know you, which maybe I don't so, then I can't say that). Something as simple as sowing some seeds will do. But I like the idea. I think we should all aspire to do this. It's fun to think about. And make sure it's fun to do too (otherwise you won't do it!) It's also fun to think about being old and wrinkled and done with the hard work. (Yes, I'm choosing to ignore the incontinence and arthritis and dementia and stuff. That's not fun and this is MY daydream and that stuff isn't allowed ok!?) So think about it. And if you have a great idea, let me know. Maybe I'll steal it! Until then I think I'll plant some lupine, because they really are beautiful! Happy planting to you!
I love this Renee :-)
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