Blunt? yes. Terrifying? yes. Her news was simple...kidney cancer. Encapsulated (good). Surgery in a couple of weeks to remove her kidney. That's about all the info I have at the moment. I looked it up, then I burst into tears.
Kidney cancer is not good. It's very, very bad it seems. But since this is a brand new diagnosis and I haven't even spoken to her about it yet, I am not going to over-react. I am used to thinking with my head. I am used to being strong. So why can't I stop crying?
It's like when my great-uncle Jim died. I had spent a week with him and my grandparents in Florida when I was a kid. He was sweet and fun and funny. He played music on his record player for my sister, Kim and I. He gave me my first communion and was on the alter at my confirmation (he was a catholic deacon) I don't remember alot about him. I didn't see him often. But when he died, I cried. Then I went to the funeral. And there I not only cried, I bawled! I couldn't seem to contain it or stop it. It seemed like a reaction that was out of proportion.
So, I had the same reaction to this news. One of my core friends; a sister-friend; someone I've known since 9th grade, has cancer. She is also 40, and although 40 has been a good year for me so far, this makes me realize that I AM 40! And some fundamental things in my life may start to change.
40 is fabulous! Truly it is. But it is also sobering. My wish is to take the sobering stuff and learn from it. Turn it into something positive. Give it up to the powers above and just let what is supposed to be, do just that. Be. More on all this later. For now, just pray for my friend and send positive energy out to her. That's what I'm planning on doing, and in the process I hope to achieve some peace from it.
Thought of the Day:
Expect the unexpected. Then you won't be so surprised!
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