I'm not dead (yet)...just working!

WOW! It's been waaaaaaaay too long since I wrote anything. If anyone is still bothering to check this thing, sorry about that (and thanks for being interested enough to wait it out! ;-). I'll try to be better. My sister got married (yay for Jenny & Kevin!), and I started working full time with my hubby. I won't go into all of my excuses because who cares!! But I've missed writing so here I go. So many subjects come to mind I don't know which to choose. I'll just grab the first one that comes to mind. Ready? Set. GO!

You didn't go.

You didn't go either.

Ok, on the count of 3 we'll both go. ok?

Ok. Ready? 1.......2......THREE!

You didn't go.

Neither did you!

Remember doing that? ha-ha. Total sidetrack. Sorry.

I'm going to write about 'The Biggest Loser' because I just watched the finale last night and it's the first thing that popped in my head. I also watched the 'Lost' finale the night before that, but I won't debate that here. (I liked it, Don didn't so much. That's all I'll say.) Believe it or not I really don't watch much tv (no time), but I do love those 2 shows. I love the Biggest Loser because it is so inspirational to me to watch people turn their lives around. They are so lost and sad and feeling out of control of their lives, but most of them get to that place where they realize, or begin to realize anyway, that THEY are in control if they want to be. All they have to do is take the reins AND DO IT. Once you do, it is so completely possible to do absolutely anything that you set your mind to doing. It's so simple, yet so many of us never realize this. I do realize this, and know it to be true, but I forget it often throughout my life. Or, I procrastinate, or even more likely I overthink it. Trying to play out all scenerios to the end to see what would be the best option to take. Often by this point the opportunity has passed or I'm too sick of thinking about it to care anymore. I will give a rather banal example from my life. Going out to eat.

I hear some of you who know me groaning right now. Yes, the simple act of choosing an entree can raise my heart rate. With many of the big decisions in my life, I barely bat an eyelash.

Live in England for a while?...Cheers, mate!

Travel across the country on a camp counselor's salary, an old car and a tent?...Gas 'er up!

Get married?...Call the minister.

Have children?...well maybe I should have given this one a little more thought ;-) JUST KIDDING KIDS!!! (no I'm not)

Anyway, most of the life altering decisions that come my way are easy. But to choose between a burger and a chicken sandwich? Torture. I need complete and total concentration to make this kind of decision, and after I order, and the waitperson walks away, I always lament what could have been. I picture it in my mind. What it may have tasted like. Would it have satisfied better than what I actually ordered? Now I'll never know.

It's stupid. I don't know why I have such trouble with the silly little decisions in life. My poor friends, sisters, and mother have to endure endless emails with pictures when I'm trying to pick out something like a rug or a door knob. Yes, I said door knob. (I went with the oil rubbed bronze, but often I wish I went with the aged bronze. sigh.) See what I mean?

Well, I think part of the reason I love the Biggest Loser so much is that they have one goal in mind, one purpose while they're there on the ranch, and they go for it. No at-home distractions, just themselves and their goal of getting healthy and losing weight. It's when they get home and are pulled in all different directions where the trouble can happen.

I often feel like I have just too many goals, and too many distractions. I wish I could have laser focus on just one goal and go for it. The problem is deciding what goal to go for first and for how long and at what (or who's) expense? It's like the menu choices. Too many!!! Do I tackle my fitness, the kids, my husband, the finances, my career, the landscaping, the house interior, etc, etc. Everyone has distractions like this. But as I look at that list, it's more about priorities and balance I guess. I WANT to be able to go at things with that laser focus...I think I function better that way. One thing at a time. But family life, like I have chosen, really doesn't give me that kind of luxury. So what to do?

Thought of the day:
Just do the best I can today. Then do it again tomorrow. And then again the next day, too.

Try to prioritize and put out the big fires first, then maybe, just maybe I'll get a chance to focus on one thing.

Well, this subject went in a different direction than I expected, but I sometimes really don't know where I'll end up. I thought I was going to talk about inspiration, and turning your life around, believing in yourself and stuff like that. But oh well. It's ok. After all, I'm just doing the best I can.

What will be MY lupine seed?

Yesterday I was sitting on the playground watching my kids play in the little town of Housatonic. It's an artsy little spot, but not the highfalutin kind of artsy. It's the down-to-earth, kind of rough around the edges artsy which I like. There is this one building that you can see from the playground that looks like it used to be a storefront, but is now someone's home. It's been painted red with huge, bright yellow sunflowers painted all along the side. The trim is a mix of bright green and yellow, and the curtains that hang in the floor-to-ceiling-store-display type of windows are fuscia. The shed in the back is painted in a brilliant turquois with pink and yellow trim (I think...the trim details I can't quite remember), with big pink flowers painted like they're growing up the side. I'm guessing it's a woman who lives here, not because of the flowers painted on every inch, but because I saw a woman run up the steps and in the front door like she owned it. (I'm a detective in my spare time you know.) This house makes me smile. Not just because it's fun to look at, but because it's brave, and it's what I want when I grow up.

I've always had this vision of myself of when I'm old. Who knows what the heck my actual future will be (probably me in diapers in a nursing home), but the vision that I have of me is, alone, in a small, simple house by the sea. In this small house I read, I take walks on the beach, I listen to music, I entertain friends, and I make art. I used to think of this house as being on a quiet road, but lately I picture it in a town like Provincetown on Cape Cod. Provincetown is artistic and full of life and characters of all kinds. It's nutty in the summer and desolate in the winter. But if it's too lonely in the winter I could always escape to one of my children's houses, wherever they may be. Oh, that reminds me, the house will have a small guest room... just one cozy guest room. No big family reunions here. Just a child or two at a time. Maybe one grandchild at a time for a special week with me; Nana, Nonnie, Grammy, Grandma, or whatever I'm called. My time for hosting big reunions will be over at this point. I'll have already done all that in years prior, in this house that I live in now.

My current house will be perfect for that. For having ALL the children and grandchildren at once. Some sleeping in the house, some camping in the yard. Staying up late by the fire singing and playing instruments (since Don & I will have paid dearly for instrumental lessons of all kinds at that point I'm sure, so SOMEONE better know how to play SOMETHING!)

That will be a grand time, but the house by the sea is for a later time. For the twilight of my life. A time just for me, to reflect and to just be. To savor the stillness and quiet at times. To observe the bustle and frivolity of summer tourists at other times. I hope that I will be able to look back at this time and know that I did my best. That I worked hard, and lived hard, and loved hard. I hope that I will be able to say that I did all that I wanted to do in this life, and that I did at least one thing to make this world a little better, a little more beautiful than it was before I came along.

There is a wonderful book that I love to read to the kids called Miss Rumphius, by Barbara Cooney. It was actually one of my sister's books when they were young, and I loved it so much I got it for my kids. It's about an old woman who lives by the sea. (Sound familiar?) It's the story of her life and her adventures, but the one thing that she had promised her father (or was it her aunt? I think she was the aunt to another girl. Hmm. I haven't read it in a while. Doesn't matter. Continue on.) when she was a little girl was that she would do one thing to make the world a more beautiful place. She gets towards the end of her life and realizes she has done pretty much everything that she set out to do in life, but she hasn't done that yet. As she lies ailing in bed she sees some lupine growing outside her window and gets her idea. When she gets well enough, she goes out and sows lupine seed everywhere she goes. Soon the lupine is growing everywhere and is beautiful of course. Don't you love it?! I want to do that too, but I need to think of my own idea. Let's see... apple trees? Done. Maybe goldenrod? 'Spreading allergies to people everywhere!' Oh that reminds me of my bee allergy story. I'll have to write about that one sometime! Kinda funny in an E.R. visit/playing with death kind of way!

Anyway, let's get to the thought/fact of the day.
What will YOU do to leave the world a better place?

Doesn't have to big, or Nobel Peace prize winning (but that would be way cool! I could say "Hey, I know that guy/girl" assuming I do know you, which maybe I don't so, then I can't say that). Something as simple as sowing some seeds will do. But I like the idea. I think we should all aspire to do this. It's fun to think about. And make sure it's fun to do too (otherwise you won't do it!) It's also fun to think about being old and wrinkled and done with the hard work. (Yes, I'm choosing to ignore the incontinence and arthritis and dementia and stuff. That's not fun and this is MY daydream and that stuff isn't allowed ok!?) So think about it. And if you have a great idea, let me know. Maybe I'll steal it! Until then I think I'll plant some lupine, because they really are beautiful! Happy planting to you!

Remember this?

Hola. I don't know why I just wrote that, but I have a suspicion it's because I just finished reading the same Dora the Explorer book five times. They almost always start out "Hola, I'm Dora." Just like Curious George almost always starts out "This is George. He is a good little monkey and always very curious." Reading books to kids is such a fun way to relive your favorite childhood books. Now, of course, Dora wasn't around when I was a kid. But I did know the word "agua" and could maybe count to five in Spanish thanks to Sesame Street. Now with the influence of Dora the 'super-mega-latino-backpack-totin'-star' to the 4 and under crowd, my kids are bilingual. Ok, not really. But my 2 year old daughter does count to ten in Spanish and astonishes the older ladies at the grocery store. It's one of her more impressive tricks.

That Sesame Street reference though made me want to write about nostalgic stuff. FUN nostalgic stuff. So I'm just gonna start spewing some things that will bring me, and perhaps you, on a little trip down memory lane. Just like those emails you get, right? But these are MY memories, so some of them may be weird. I don't know yet...I'll be thinking them up as I go.

From Sesame Street:
The little girl cruising down the street repeating the list her mother gave her of things to buy at the store: "Loaf 'a bread. Quart 'a milk. Stick 'a butter." I wish I could send my kids to the store like that, but their list would be different: "Loaf 'a multigrain. Quart 'a organic, no hormone added skim milk. Tub 'a Smart Balance."

The guy dying for some water pleading for "Agua!" I can't remember the whole scene, just the voice sounding like he was dying in the desert or something. Is that ok for 3 year olds to watch?

The parrot exasperating the plumber. This one still cracks me up when I think of it. Maybe I can get a video clip of it...I'll try when I'm done writing this.
scene: A plumber is knocking at the door. Inside is a parrot.
parrot: "Whoooo is it?"
plumber: "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink."
repeat a bunch of times.
The old woman comes home and sees the passed out plumber on the floor. (or maybe he's dead. Remember the dying desert guy??).
woman: "Who is it?"
parrot: "It's the plumber. He's come to fix the sink."
See...I just laughed. Still funny! Ok I'm going to look for the clip now. I can't wait.....(time passing as I look)...........Ok, just looked. It was Electric Company I guess. And it's been removed from youtube because of copyright stuff. But you know it. Why is that so damn funny?

Schoolhouse Rock:
"Conjunction junction, what's your function?" (sing it!)
The bill sitting on the steps of Capitol Hill, depressed, until he gets passed.

Commercials:
"I'm Kukoo for Cocoa Puffs!"
"Silly rabbit. Trix are for kids!"
Boo Berry, Frankenpuffs & Count Chocula
Toucan Sam & Fruit Loops
Wow...didn't they advertise anything healthy? These are the ones that I remember most. Advertising doesn't work on kids at all. Nah.

The Indian crying at the polluted world. Well, that's not really funny or fun I guess. Made an impression though!

Toys:
Slinky. Play-doh. (love the smell still) Cabbage Patch Dolls. (U-G-L-Y. except the babies weren't too bad I guess) Strawberry Shortcake. The big Barbie head. I never had one, but wanted it so much! Now I can't do my daughter's hair because I never learned to braid or do anything on the big Barbie head! Maybe THAT'S why I never wore make-up all these years. It's YOUR own fault mom! (just kidding mommy. love you anyway.) Smurfs! (Smurfette was my fav of course) The Barbie Dreamhouse & Corvette. Of course I didn't have those either. But I really, really wanted them! However the big boxes with windows and doors cut out, hand decorated by moi, did well enough. It probably sparked my interest in interior design, so thanks mom on that one.

Events:
The advent of cable, microwaves, home computers, MTV (I remember rushing home from school to see the first music video...whatever it was. I can't remember! ;-), watching the premier of the Thriller video like it was a movie, cordless phones (remember PRE-cordless phones when you had to pull the cord really far until it was all stretched out so you could talk in privacy in the bathroom?), and the first space shuttle launch.

Oh there are probably so many more things I could reminisce about, but it's late and my memory is bad now that I'm a 'grown-up'. Hope that was fun for you too. (that sounded a little sleazy. Don't take it that way...you and your filthy mind!)

Oh I almost forgot. The thought/fact of the day is:
It's fun to reminisce!

It makes you feel young again. But then it makes you feel old because you realize these things happened MORE THAN 30 YEARS AGO!!! Hello?! Whaat? Well, what the hell. Kids these days don't know what they missed.

Check this out and have fun poking around. I know you will! Which reminds me, we didn't have these fancy things like the internet & blogs either. We had to go to the library, and write with pens, and open a dictionary to spell things like 'reminisce'! And we didn't have snow days unless there was 20 feet of snow. And another thing......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3q-zwvqBq8&feature=related

Hey, You Never Know!

I didn't want to write about my kids all the time, but it looks like it may be hard to avoid sometimes. After all, I spend pretty much 14 or more hours a day with at least one of them at all times. Besides, they provide good material and are 'mucho funny' sometimes.

So today was a half day of school, AGAIN (the third day in a row!), and on the agenda for the afternoon was art. Paint, gems, glue, stickers...the works. My son, Peter went to town and churned out a prolific amount of art. He was really in a frenzy, for hours, and even when dinnertime rolled around and my husband was scraping sequins off the table to make room for the kid-friendly (aka fried) fish fillets, he still didn't want to stop.

"I can't stop. I just want to do one more (which really means 5-10). I HAVE to. They're for Aida!"

I looked at the huge pile of artwork beside him. I'm not kidding. It was 10-15 paintings and some projects he created for her to have fun assembling herself. One of them was a lacing project...he had two cutouts of hands, each hand painted very decoratively and holes punched all around the edges. He found a piece of string to go with it so she can have fun lacing them together.

Now, I have to explain who Aida is. She is my good friend's daughter, she is his muse, and she is his 'wife'. Did I mention that my son is 5 and Aida is 4?

Peter has always been in love with Aida since they were old enough to talk, and one day he finally asked her to marry him. My friend Carolyn and I witnessed the proposal. We were in the locker room at the gym after swimming.

"Aida, will you marry me?" he asked.

She thought for a moment. "Ok."

He was over the moon, and he and his sister spent the whole night planning the wedding. He even made a top hat for himself out of black construction paper. Then he told me the plan for their future.

"When Aida and I get married, can she live with us?"

"Well, she is only four you know. Don't you think her parents will miss her?" He thought about that for a minute.

"I know. I'm going to build a house for us, right next to this house. We'll have a tunnel that connects the two houses and inside the tunnel will be the swingset. Then I'm going to buy all our furniture at the furniture store, except for the bunk beds. I'm going to build those for our kids. Because when Aida's a grown up she'll have babies."

"Well I'm happy to hear that someday I'm going to have grandchildren!"

"Yeah, and Isabella and Clara and Katherine (their combined sisters) will live in our house, and her parents will live with you and dad in your house. That way they'll still be near Aida."

"Sounds like an interesting plan. Are you going to work?"

"Oh definitely. On Saturdays I'm going to be a scientist who works in a lab, and on Sundays I'm going to be a meterologist, and at night I'll be an astronomer" (I think he forgot about his ambitions to be an astronaut too at that moment)

"What will you do the rest of the time?"

"I'm going to stay home the rest of the week to be with Aida! Then when we have kids I can help her with the kids." (Yep, that's my boy! Can a mom be any prouder?)

A couple of weeks later we finally had the big wedding during our regular pizza night get together. He was so excited and respectably nervous, as any good groom should be. The happy couple walked down the hall, Aida in a fancy dress borrowed from my daughter Isabella, and Aida's mom and I presided over the wedding. Afterwards, the traditional kiss. Then the cake cutting. It was great fun for all. Now Peter calls her his wife. He gives her gifts, makes her things, writes her letters, and after he won a trophy at the science fair a couple of weeks ago, ran through the crowd, looking for Aida to show her. I think he'll be a great catch someday for some lucky girl. I wonder if it will be Aida for real? (Is it weird that I have changed Aida's diapers?) And I know I like the in-laws already so that would be good by me!

So tonight after I read to Peter, we were lying in bed talking for a few minutes. I said something about how he'll always be my little boy and I asked if he'd come visit us in this house when he was a famous astronaut/scientist/meteorologist with his wife and kids if he had them.

"With Aida!" He insisted. He was kind of mad at me for even suggesting it might be otherwise.

Hmmm. I may need to start prepping him for reality at some point. But maybe not. After all, when was the last time I laid out big dreams and didn't even give it a second thought that they may not turn out the way I planned? That kind of naive certainty is wonderful. I still think of big plans, but now I have that pesky reality thing that gets in the way. Maybe I need to take a lesson from a five year old who has no doubts about what and who he will be when he grows up.

The thought/fact of the day is:
Forget reality once in a while and go ahead and dream big. Why not?!

Geez, I have to get off these happy, sappy themes. But I can't help it right now...maybe you'll luck out soon and I'll write some pessimistic, depressing stuff. Don't hold your breath though ;-) (Note the little happy face thing...I couldn't resist!)

So chances are that Peter and Aida will NOT grow up and get married and live next to us with a tunnel connecting our houses, but who am I to say it couldn't happen? Chances are I will NOT write the next Harry Potter, or become a famous artist, or host a decorating show on HGTV, or win Dancing with the Stars. (Actually, you can pretty safely bet on that one not happening, as many will attest to.) But what's the harm in thinking about it? Or, what's the harm in believing it? I think when I figure out what my ultimate dream is, I'll try to be like Peter. I'll forget reality and just forge ahead, knowing it's going to happen. Because, hey, really, you never know!

This picture was taken from the fire tower at the top of a mountain. My 7 & 5 year old had no doubts that they wanted to and could get to the top of that mountain on a rugged trail. And you know what...they did it!

Heaven In My Own Backyard

Last night I was able to sleep with the windows open for the first time this year, and I just love this! I wake up earlier than normal when I have them open because the cool air and the sound of birds singing pulls me from sleep. It's one of my favorite parts about camping in fact. The warm sun and the shadows of the leaves waving on the canvas of the pop-up, that cool air biting my nose, and that early morning orchestra of birds just singing their hearts out. It's the best. However, I always have a debate with myself before actually getting up.

"You could sleep for another hour, you know." says bad me.

"Yeh, but you'll probably just lie here and think about how you should get up and do something. Then you'll be mad that you wasted that hour." says good me.

"True. But it's nice and warm in bed here, and a whole hour of doing nothing. Think of it!"

Today good me won out and I got up and took a walk/jog. I knew I wouldn't regret it because I never do. As I was walking down our driveway one of our numerous rabbits in residence scuttered into the woods in front of me. At the end of our driveway my neighbor and her dog were looking intently into the woods.

"See something?" I asked.

"I heard a grouse. Do you know what they sound like?" she asked. I did not know what they sound like and she made a sort of quick thumping sound. Cool. I'll have to keep my eyes open for grouse I guess.

Then as I was walking up the road, still listening to the birds, I gazed at the mist sitting in the mountains. Further up the road two turkeys came running into the road ahead of me. They saw me and kept running ahead of me, in the road. All I could think of was the road race in my hometown every Thanksgiving called the 'Turkey Trot'. It made me laugh. Finally the worried looking turkeys figured out that they could just go back into the woods to escape me. "Whew. That was close!" they seemed to be thinking. That also makes me think of the other morning when I looked out my window and saw a flock of wild turkeys strutting around my car. They made their way through my yard, and what must have been the big kahoona (he was a huge bird for being a wild turkey), spread his tail feathers out just like you see pictures of on paper napkins at Thanksgiving. I've never seen that in person and it was pretty neat. I showed my 2-year old daughter and she squealed with delight. "Look at the chickens!" Well, close enough.

After that I came to the river and the birds in the marshes there were just going crazy. It was almost deafening! They were singing with a verve that made me think of Julie Andrews twirling on the mountaintop singing "The hills are alive with the sound of muuuuuusic!..." I almost broke out into song myself. That's the kind of morning it was today. Just me and nature communing. It was so much more uplifting than a cup of coffee. It was fuel for my soul. (Stop rolling your eyes...especially you, Annette!) Yes, I'm corny. Yes, I'm a nature freak. Yes, I love 'The Sound of Music'. And yes, I LOVE SPRING! Doesn't it just make YOU want to break out in song?! Well, you should try it. Go ahead, I dare you!

So, the thought/fact of the day is:
Go outside! Whenever you can.

In my humble opinion, there is no better cure for what ails you than being in nature. That is why I feel like the luckiest person in the world right now. I have a house in the country where I see rabbits, birds, woodchucks, turkeys and even bear. I was folding laundry on the screened in porch last night listening to the peepers, breathing in the dewy air, and I even heard a wild cat, probably a bobcat, screech. (That, I admit is a bit disconcerting since it was probably attacking something, but still. I like it better than the sound of sirens.)

We haven't been able to go any big vacations for years, but it's all worth it to have this house. I feel like I'm vacation 365 days a year! Well, maybe that's an exaggeration, but I truly always try to keep in mind how fortunate I am. I'm living my dream, and loving every moment of it! I'm definitely a country mouse, through and through! So, feeling blue? Take a walk down a country road or in the woods. You'll feel better in no time! I do.

These pictures were taken on a family walk last weekend. I wish I had some of our turkey visitors, but I wasn't quick enough.

Candy for breakfast? Forget about it!

Hoppy Easter! Wakey,wakey...it's 5 am and and time to eat 10 pounds of candy!!! Yes, one of the joys of parenthood is the 5 am wake-up call on all major holidays. Of course 'The Big One' being Christmas, but after that Easter is a close second. Then there's Halloween (more candy), Valentine's Day (more candy), Thanksgiving (just for the parade), St. Patrick's Day (the leprechans), Mother's Day & Father's Day (which for some reason involves waking up said parent very early to say "Happy Mother's/Father's Day"), and of course birthdays. Fireworks at 4th of July can go either way... super cool to watch or screaming/crying for your life.

Anyway, it's Easter today and my friend said, "You know you're old when waking up at 5am to eat candy for breakfast doesn't hold the same appeal." How true. The thought of eating all that candy in the morning makes me kind of sick now. Not that it stops me from sneaking a few pieces from the kids' baskets. As I'm popping my 5th handful of jellybeans, trying not to be seen by the Easter basket guardsmen, I'm thinking "Gross...I don't even want this! Stop it!" Then I stop. But later I take just a little nibble of a bunny ear. (Chocolate bunny of course, not the kind out back eating all my birdseed). It has to be a strategic nibble so as not to be noticed by the bunny owner. A little off a pre-nibbled spot, sort of spread out. No new chomps will do. That will definitely set off the kid alarms.

So I guess I'm a grown-up now since I'd rather have sleep than chocolate (most of the time). I also know I'm a 'grown-up' because of my, ahem, shall we say, slight loss of memory. I used to be able to roll through my finely tuned, highly organized rollodex in my brain and recall exactly where I placed that extra screw from the curtain rod I hung 2 years ago that I could really use right now. Now, I'm lucky if I can remember my kid's names without looking them up. I do that thing that my mother, and yes, YOUR mother did too, where I call them by a string of names, including the dead dogs' names, before I finally get the right one. My daughter even told me today that she wants to be just like me. (aw... I love my kids). Then she went on. "Because then I could forget scary things since you forget everything mom!" (anyone want a 7-year old?)

So the thought/fact of the day is:
I'm not old, I'm just a grown-up.

It's all in how you phase it. And after all, it's great to be a grown-up. Even if you don't want to, you CAN eat 10 pounds of chocolate, and it doesn't even have to be Easter. You're allowed. (Although I wouldn't recommend it.) I remember thinking when I was a kid, that when I was grown up and and living on my own that I'd have candy every day, because my parents couldn't stop me. Well, I guess I could. But I think I'll pass. It's more fun to sneak it from the kids anyway...and the calories don't count when you sneak it from THEM. It's their candy...their calories, right?

The Simple Life

This morning I was lying in bed thinking about today's entry and I thought, "I'll do something about simplicity." I got up and as I brushed my teeth I could hear the 2 older kids in the kitchen downstairs up to something. They are often 'up to something'. Being very creative minded (which I love), they are always coming up with some sort of pretend play, that unfortunately ALWAYS involves about a million small pieces of something (which I don't love). Tiny plastic animals, tiny dolls, tiny gems (anything that sparkles they call a gem), tiny rocks, tiny bits of paper...you get the picture. They are always arranged in an elaborate manner, covering a large expanse in a high traffic area, like directly in front of the bathroom door or the refrigerator. One may not disturb the set-up without bearing the penalty of a loud wailing sound.


"Mommmmmmmm! You just stepped on the queen and they're having a party for her and all the loyal subjects are dancing and making cakes and eating candy and now they have to bring the queen to the hospital!!!" Which then gets them excited about the idea of creating a hospital. "Mom, do you have a box?"

So the 'mess' stays for a while and we all just navigate around the party. Unless I'm in a bad mood. Then the party gets booted to the next kingdom. It's the price I have to pay for having creative minds around me I guess. I was always a total slob growing up and now I want to marry my label maker, but that's a whole different entry onto itself.

Anyway, back to simplicity. I equate simplicity with peace and tranquility. I don't get much of those things around here these days as you can gather from the whole 'tiny pieces of stuff everywhere' thing I just wrote about. Tiny pieces of things are clutter to me, and clutter makes me crazy. I hate it. I can't focus. It is definitely NOT the embodiment of simplicity. Yet I often live with clutter around me. Not just from the kids, but from my husband and even myself. We moved into this house a year ago last week and I STILL have boxes, full of god-knows-what, sitting on the floor of my office next to me right now. I don't even want to go into what's up in the attic.

Thought/fact of the day:
Grab your simplicity in moments
and savor them.

What I've come to terms with over the past 10 years is this. It will be a while; years most definitely, before I'll be able to sit down and, for example, write a blog entry without getting up 13 times to break up a fight, make some oatmeal, dole out a time-out, or wipe someone's behind (boy I can't wait until I can stop doing that!) So for now, I try to recognize the MOMENTS of simplicity. Alot of the time they're less than a minute and easy to miss, but I try to recognize them and remember them later amid the chaos. A moment drinking coffee and watching the birds and rabbits out my kitchen window. Waiting for the bus in the afternoon on a gorgeous day. Watching a worm burrow into the dirt with the kids. Looking at my spotless kitchen before it gets trashed again. (OK, that one is a real rarity, but wow, it's a memorable one when it happens!)

So find a moment of simplicity today and savor it. That's the good stuff in life!

Pretty is a state of mind.

It is 3 p.m. and I just took a shower (wow...2 days in a row!) which often happens late in the day and many days not at all. Any mom can relate to this. The thing that struck me though, and led to today's thought of the day was that it actually took me about 20 minutes to get dressed. Most of this time was spent trying on jewelry, putting on make-up, and messing with my hair until I finally decided to put a cute pin in it. And where was I going? To bring my daughter to an appointment. That's it. One person other than my family was going to see me, and yet I still did it. Crazy, I know. I NEVER would have done that before. Before, at least a dozen people laying eyes on me was the minimum criteria for getting dressed in actual clothes (not sweats or pajama's that kind of looked liked clothes) and it took ALOT more people than that to warrant make-up!

Anyone who knew me before last year probably will find that hilarious, because prior to last year I easily could have been the 'before' person on 'What Not To Wear'. I never really cared about what I looked like, especially if I was just running errands.

Now don't get me wrong...I often go to the grocery store still sweaty from the gym because it's right on the way, but the fact is, now I actually put some effort into getting dressed. Pretty much every day. Why? Last year I decided to lose some weight and actually DID IT! I lost about 20 pounds and 2 sizes. ("Hey, I did that? I completed something? Huh.")

With a new body I had to get some new clothes. I put it off as long as I could, but when I started using rope to hold up my pants, I finally broke down and went to Marshall's. ("You know, I guess while I'm here it wouldn't hurt to try on some funky, fun clothes.")

So, now I had a few funky clothes, but my hair was still in that ponytail from 1988. (I admit I even had a scrunchy, but I tried not to use it too often.) I went to the hairdresser with some photos of cute, respectable bobs. Stuck at the bottom, the waaaay bottom, was one of Halle Berry with that super-short hair. She just looked so gorgeous in that short hair. Same with Demi Moore in Ghost. I've always loved that look, but not on me. Not since the Dorothy Hamill hack job in 1977. It traumatized me.

"That one!!" my hairdresser screamed. She started dancing up and down.

"What?! But Halle has a gorgeous face...she can pull it off. I definitely don't look like Halle." I wimpered.

"No, but your face isn't weird or grotesque or anything." (Was that a compliment?...I'm not sure.) After a few minutes of her pleading and dancing like she was going to pee on the floor, I told her to go for it.

"Really?! Really, really?" She could hardly contain herself. I'm thinking this kind of permission is like telling my 7-year old she can sit in the front seat without a seat belt while eating an ice cream cone. (Which by the way would NEVER happen.)

"Sure. Why not?" I say glibly. I'm so brave. I'm such a chic chick. Then the cutting begins.

She's done. I look up. I HATE IT.

"Do you love it?!" She asks.

"It's short." I say. "I just have to get used to it." I add as her face falls. ('It'll grow back and hats are in fashion, kinda.' I think)

When I get home, I wet it, mess it up, look in the mirror, and then I laugh. Wow. That's short. So what! I'll have fun with it. I start to like it. And then I grow to love it after a few days. I now have a hair style?! Weird concept. But I kinda look like a boy, so here comes the makeup. My mom is THRILLED.

"Are you wearing LIPSTICK?!" she exclaims. She's as excited as the hairdresser was. It's been a goal of hers for years to get me to wear make-up... and to go all the way to lipstick?! That's just icing on that cake. She loves it. And you know...so do I. I feel kind of, well, pretty.

So anyway, after all this rambling I'll get to the thought of the day:
It feels good to look nice.

People always told me this. TV shows and magazine articles always told me this. My MOTHER always told me this. But I never believed it made much of a difference. 'Take me as I am world, ripped sweats and all, and if you don't like it then you can go to HECK!' was my attitude. (I'm trying to keep it nice and clean here, folks). And the world did take me as I was. So that was good. But now I want the world to say, "Hey, you look DAMN GOOD, sister!" (well, I can't keep it totally clean. I have my father's side of the family in me big time, and they are all straight from the 'Academy of Filthy Mouths'.) It only took me 40 years to get to this point. I guess I'm growing up. This lipstick's for you, mom!


Here's a photo of that cute hair clip. I HATE pictures of myself but I'm going to try to get over it. It's like taking speech class when you hate public speaking...just gotta make yourself get up there and face the music because every time you do it, it gets a little less horrible.

Day 1 of DECADE FORTY...it's my birthday today!

Welcome to Fabulous 40, self! It's my birthday today, I am 40 years old, and have never blogged before. I used to keep an old-fashioned journal....you know, the kind with paper and pens; but that was pre-kids. The funny thing is, I started writing in a journal when I was a girl so my kids could see what my life was like when I was dead and gone, but when they came along I just stopped. All those poopy diapers kinda get in the way sometimes.

Soooo, I recently saw Julie & Julia (loved it!) and it gave me the idea to start blogging. What the heck, why not? Little tidbits daily don't sound too hard. I have so many thoughts a day...totally scattered. Maybe this will get me back to the organized woman I USED to be. 8 years at home with 3 kids and some dogs have thrown off my organizational skills a bit. I love the idea, let's see if I stick to it! So right now I'll try to make a goal for myself. One thought a day for a year. Wonder if I can do it? I don't have a laptop and we camp sans-technology so this may not be possible, but I'll give it a try. I'm warning you now, the thoughts will not all be profound, and often probably not make any sense, but who's reading anyway?!

I'll fill in my background and other details as time goes on, but I need to do some work now. Yes, on my BIRTHDAY!! What a crime. So my thought of the day is... (and sometimes it may be longer than a sentence. Actually it often may be, just to clarify.) Wow, how can I possibly choose one thing? I'll have to give myself a time limit for thinking too while I'm at it. Otherwise it will be too overwhelming. Ok, another rule is it can be a thought or a FACT about myself or anything else I find interesting. That's better. OK, here it is:

Thought/fact of the day:
I'm EXCITED to be 40!

I really am. My 30's were hard work. I got married (well 2 weeks before I turned 30), had 3 kids, lost 2 dogs, helped my husband through alot of challenges (illness, depression, addiction), renovated 2 houses from top to bottom, changed careers from designer to stay-at-home mom/bookkeeper/freelance designer/manual laborer and... well, I guess that's enough for anyone.

More on all that as time goes on. For now, nice to meet you phantom reader. And kids, if I'm dead & gone and you're reading this, I love you, I love you, I love you. This is for you, you beautiful, funny, wonderful, devilish, crazy kids! You make life worth living!